As I was packing to move seventeen-hundred & three miles away, my indecision was majorly stifling my productivity.
Exibit A: “Do I need six pairs of boots? No! But… maybe because these are for rain, these snow, and these every day, and I can’t very well go to the east coast without riding boots, can I? Oh, but I need a pair of short boots too and the Timberlands are waterproof and in great condition for thrift store boots but they’re kind of like the others and I don’t have room for both… ”
[Repeat for every type of clothing and possible college necessity, well maybe non-necessities- but, I do use them kinda frequently so…]
Three days later and I was still stuck on the same issue. The never-ending weighing of options and what-if scenarios have paralyzed me in place. My feet [in one of the too-many-pairs of boots] felt cemented down and I couldn’t move on with my packing over this silly, trivial, insignificant matter. But how am I supposed to move past? I can’t pick one pair over the other! That’s like picking favorites of your children!!
Except, it’s not. Not AT ALL. They’re just shoes, and shoes are great, but they do not need to consume as much time and sanity as they have. Seriously, I spent hours and multiple conversations on this “issue” before it hit that it isn’t an issue. What it is is a distraction that’s keeping me from focusing on Jesus and His people. When it comes down to it, all that matters is Jesus, following His lead, and sharing His love with His people. This conviction made me realized Timberlands or Ariats, I can mull over the option for days, or I decide either way in less than a minute & spend my days and thoughts rejoicing in the God who has blessed me with so many pairs of soles! On option sounds like a trap from the devil and the other like a wonderful way to glorify God.
My indecisiveness fills me to the brim with fear of making the wrong decisions, doubt in my decision-making capabilities, and inner chaos from weighing out multiple sides. None of these things sound like feelings the Prince of Peace desires me to have.
Psalm 34:14 [ESV] Turn away from evil and do good. SEEK PEACE and pursue it.
While reading the biography of my Grandfather, I came across this quote of his:
“It may not occur to most people that indecision and the complexity of life are spiritual problems at their root. I has been said that all of our problems are ultimately theological problems.” – Paul Bubna
So the cure? Simply put, I believe it is remembering the temporariness of this life and that there is only one thing that truly matters: Jesus.
Thanks for listening to my musings!
Song Pairing: O Come to the Altar by Elevation Worship